Nothing to Crowe About

Music Lovers rejoice. Our favorite rock star, Russell Crowe is bringing his band to -- Canberra, Australia's capitol.

The group is called "The Ordinary Fear of God," and I'm sure you can take the "ordinary" out of that moniker and get a more accurate description.

Rather than concert-goers waving their cellphones back and forth during the show, the audience will throw their phones at Russell.

Clay Aiken

We always knew that Clay was in the closet.

Now have the proof that -- it's true.

Thanks to these secret photos of them french kissing, we finally have a glimpse of Clay with his longtime companion.

It truly is the love that dare not speak its name.

Palt-row Your Boat Ashore

It's been so lovely not having a constant barrage of Gwynnie Goop in the movies lately. Now we find out how she's been spending her free time.

Preggers again. Now little Apple will -- have an Orange or Kumquat to play with.

Every hop in the sack for Gwyneth gives us another year or two of her cinematic absence. Go on, fill your fruit basket, hon.

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Swim On, Baby

Let us mark the passing of another Hollywood great, Shelley Winters.

She's up there swimming around in that -- great Poseidon Adventure in the sky.

I can hear her now: "Manny! Manny!"

Happy Landings", Shell. You were a great broad.

Angelina, Brad, Jen and God Knows Who

Ohhhhhhhhhh, can't we put this little threesome to sleep?

And I don't mean with each other. Of course Jennifer didn't know that Angelina was -- pregnant.

Brad didn't even know.

Here's the real baby daddy:

"He's my brother, I mean my lovah. He's my brother AND my lovahhh."

Dame Dench

Saw Mrs. Henderson Presents last night. Judi could read --- the yellow pages and move you to tears, which is pretty much what happens in the movie.

It's a pleasant little trifle which is more a showcase for the Great Dame than anything else.

Bob Hoskins is fine as her blustery business partner, but the rest of the supporting cast is quite odd, especially one young actor with an underbite lisp that makes him sound like wind whistling through a window. He, of course, has lots of screen time and even three or four songs. Hello? Sleeping with the director much?

In the end, all is forgiven (and forgotten) because what you really take away is Miss Dench's work. She could stand there saying nothing and, with a lift of an eyebrow or the curl of her crimson-colored lips, tell you everything you need to know. Hmmm, maybe a silent picture would have been better.

Tonight, I'm off to a leather bar. That should wash some of the saccharine away. No comments.

My Favorite Movie...

...of the year.

Almost too painful to -- talk about. So let's not. More than enough has been said, pro and con.

Go see it for yourself.

Will & Grace

God, I love this show. What am I ever gonna do without it? (Get a life, you say?)

The writing is spectacular, each joke pays off in a smart, urban way (now that's what I want in -- my TV viewing, not overweight has-beens dancing the cha-cha-cha) and all true to the characters.

If I see one more pre-fab sitcom with the same lame jokes, I think I'll bang myself to death with the remote. Take that in any way you want.

W&G had one of their -- "live shows" last night and I kept hoping for them to fuck up. There was a moment of that, but the best part for me was all the slapstick when they all got covered in lotion and shaving cream and powder. That could have been a disaster on live TV but they pulled it off without a hitch.

Don't leave me, kids. I'll end up watching "Super Nanny" and sitting in the "naughty spot."

Tommy Lee is ready for his Close-Up

Watch out Hollywood. Watch out world.

Tommy Lee is the subject of a new movie.

Now, you know that they're gonna use -- a long lens for this one.

They say it's a bonafide documentary. Well, I sure it won't be a "short".

Colin does Macedonia

Geez. I finally saw "Alexander" starring Colin Farrell on cable last night. Oy, what a dog. The only thing I found interesting was watching his roots grow out.

I kept waiting for a little man-on-man action with his gay lover, Jared Leto, who wore so much smeared eye makeup that he looked like -- a drag queen who'd been left out in the rain.

All I got was Colin screwing some slave girl and you could see right away these two were not a match. Lots of slapping and dirty looks, and not in a good way.

We finally get "Colin conquers the world," and they give us this Disney PG-version of one of the greatest leaders in history. Who was gay. So glad we have this to add to our collection, Oliver Stone.

Personally I think they should have kept Colin in his diaper

throughout the film - at least that would have been something to watch.

Bette